What about Longer Term In-Depth Counseling?
Depending on the situation and goals of a client, counseling sessions might continue for several months or longer. Perhaps a number of difficulties have accumulated over months or years, and lifting the emotional burden of that weight can feel overwhelming. An excruciating wound in the past might be buried under superficial hurts or irritants. I work in partnership with clients to peel back each layer of difficulty — perhaps anxiety, sadness or anger from past trauma — until we uncover what it is that interferes with achieving a productive, satisfying life.

Exposing hidden layers of trauma or grief can be painful. However, memories of the past can also enable you to understand the present. My job is to help link those past experiences to methods of handling challenges in the present. That, in turn, makes it possible to move forward with energy and optimism.

I enjoy working with artists, political activists and men and women in midlife who want to change direction, or who are concerned about ethical, financial or political implications of career choices. The work sometimes includes explorations of early life experiences and their effects on subsequent choices. Throughout the process I encourage clients to appreciate their strengths and abilities, combining aspects of both in-depth therapy and coaching. I am currently excited about exploring the relatively new practice of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Brainspotting. These techniques are especially effective in recovery from trauma.

GROUPS will soon begin, focusing on these topics:

Memoir: Write Your Own Story

You are never too young or too old to write about your life. The process can be fun; can clarify what happened, can set you on a path to heal trauma or make peace with the past. It can be a tribute to a friend or family member. The goal is not to write for publication, but for your kids, your friends - or simply for yourself.

You don't have to be a writer to tell your story. In a supportive atmosphere you will practice focused observation of scenes and people and learn how to choose the best words to tell your story.

• Talking Across Generations - The Group

Financial responsibilities shift. Robust bodies and minds become frail. The meaning of independence changes. Adult children and their parents exchange roles. Why are we surprised when "life happens" to us, or to the people we love? Learning to discuss feelings and thoughts about those present and anticipated changes can lead to new understandings of each other's fears and hopes and can renew intimacy across generations. You can overcome your fear of approaching subjects such as an adult child's protectiveness or a parent's risky driving, frailty or forgetfulness. If you long to speak honestly to your parent or adult child, this group is for you. You can learn to recognize shared core values and to explore the deep feelings those values generate. The result is a win-win relationship.

• When Someone You Love is Being Abused

When a friend or family member is mistreated by an intimate partner, you might feel mad, frustrated, sad - and helpless. Only two choices seem feasible: a forcible rescue or turning your back. In this group you will discover additional options, including tools to evaluate the dangers of the situation to your friend as well as to yourself. You will learn to help make a safety plan, and to find out directly from the person being victimized what she would like you to do. Even if you are well informed, additional information about the dynamics of abuse will help you to make wise, responsible choices and to take care of yourself. By understanding the situation, you can reduce your frustration and be ready to help when the time is right.

• Risky Relationships

Is he just protective, or is he controlling? Highly sensitive, or irritable? Or both? In the long run, subtle mistreatment can be even more damaging than physical restraint or assault. It can be dangerous to ignore or dismiss verbal put-downs and manipulations, as unimportant or as indications that you are "too sensitive." In this class you will learn to recognize connections between how you are treated and your feelings about yourself, and to weigh the effect of those feelings on your life goals. The class provides tools to answer the question of "How do I know whether this is a dangerous relationship?" You are the one who weighs the risks and rewards, and who acts on those conclusions. Making thoughtful decisions can enhance your confidence and help you create the life you want.

RESULTS ACHIEVED BY PARTICIPANTS IN PAST GROUPS

1. Timid women developed skills that enabled them to speak up for themselves, maximizing the probability of achieving goals, while minimizing risks of negative results.
2. Teenagers, many for the first time, recognized the dangers of "addictive love," defined their goals and chose to create lives free of abuse.
3. Men whose sexual behavior had been habitually risky developed ways to ask for, and practice, safe sex.
4. Self-identified "fat" women learned how to treat themselves with the respect they ask of others and began to feel more optimistic. They decided they didn't have to postpone making changes until a time when they would be "not fat." They applied for jobs, registered for college or pursued other activities.
5. Lesbians who abused their partners learned how to develop patterns of nonviolent behavior, which enabled them to gain more of what they wanted in their relationships.
6. Women anticipating or experiencing menopause learned about the wide range of reactions to hormonal changes, and discovered ways to minimize menopausal discomfort and appreciate the next phase of life.

Check back to see when other groups are in the works. I welcome suggestions for topics to be explored in new groups.